John is 5!!!

OK, my sweet baby boy is 5 years old. I am so proud of him and he is very proud of himself. He reminds me of the things he use to do that was '4 yr old behavior' and now he says 'Look Mama, I'm not doing this, (insert his 4 yr old misbehavior) because this is how 5 yr olds act.' I cannot believe how amazing he is. I hope all 5 yr olds get to shine like John did. Grandpa even came into town for his birthday celebration. I was also able to get the afternoon off on his 'official birthday' yesterday so I could deliver cupcakes to his classroom. I was the coolest mom ever! At least until the next birthday and that mom brings cupcakes:) John has gotten the royal treatment these past couple of days and I love it. He has told me he loves me more times than I can count and I'm a sucker for that. If he asked me to buy him a car right now I would say yes.

This past year has been quite and adventure. We sold and bought a home. We lost family members 2 and 4 legged. We have made incredible connections at John's school and in our new neighborhood. All the stuff I had planned has gone out the window but that is not a bad thing. I planned on having a housewarming. That never happened. I planned on converting the stove to gas. That is still on the back burner..haha. But I am incredibly grateful. I love my family I never knew I had. The relationships we are building at John's school I truly feel can last a lifetime. I have fabulous neighbors thank God! I can go on and on. My cup runs over. My family is healthy and happy. How did the universe see fit to gift me with such an amazing life? I don't know but thank you. I will do my best to earn it.

John's first day of school

It was chaos. It has been such an emotional month. Today was John's first day of school. I thought i would be crying but i think I'm so worried there is no time for tears now. It was hard to say bye to his caretaker that he has had since he was 8 weeks old. We have gone to the school a few times and John associates the school with playing and having fun. That is good but today was very different. We get there and he wants to play but we put away his things in his cubby hole and go back to the main room. There are parents and kids of all ages everywhere. John seems confused and unsure. I hate that. We sit in a circle for 'morning circle' to get the morning started. The teacher tells a story (a long one) and John is getting tired of being still. Then they call the kids to the class by classroom name. John's class is last. It seems so chaotic. I'm wondering how is he going to do this when i'm not here? I fortunately took vacation this week so I could be with him in the morning. But, next week I have to just drop him off. Anyway, the pre k class is getting walked to their room and kids are crying and clinging to parents and John seems worried. But, he doesn't cry. One by one they enter the pre k class and parents are stopped by the teacher at the door and some kids are literally pulled from their parents. When it's John's turn I quickly kiss the back of his head and he was gone into the class. I didn't get to say bye. Maybe that was better. After the last kid goes in the class the teacher abruptly closes the door. She does not address any parents. She firmly states "i have to shut the door". It was a rough start for me. I thought I would cry but I didn't. But, I can't do anything else. I have free time right now but can't focus. I am consumed by thoughts about what he is doing and how is he? Is he scared? Is he confused? Did he eat lunch? These thoughts make me want to get emotional. But, I hold back for now. I'm waiting. Just in case he needs me. His school journey starts now.